Start normalizing self- talk!
Talking to yourself isn’t a sign of mental illness!
Ever caught self- talking by your mom or sibling? Well, it’s not an issue to be embarrassed of.
My entire childhood was spent mostly in my own little room imagining myself as a teacher with my thousand invisible students. The self-talking part didn’t even begin yet I was already in my shoes ready to fall into this whole addiction.
Gradually, as I enter the phase of adulthood, this obsession has increased to a huge extent. I won’t deny that this obsession has resulted in reflecting upon my actions and the issues surrounding me and the world. I usually day dream and ponder upon a lot of issues relating to people that I have met or videos and photos that I have watched and so on.
My self- talking skills varies on different levels. I sometimes imagine myself in delusional moments after watching some romantic stuff, thinking I am being pursued by some random dude. At the next moment, I would be self talking my own thought processes; without realizing I am dumb to let my voice be overheard by the whole world.
I have this unique relationship with this addiction. I feel comfortable enough to self talk but gets extremely shy and frustrated when someone interrupts me, asking who am I talking to? Or, why am I talking alone?
My whole comfort escapist mode snaps back at the reality when I realize I am doing something which is considered abnormal for many people.
This has always bothered me for a long time. I was conscious of my behavior and tried to suppress it, not to let people think that I am an eccentric.
However; the more I try to suppress it, my thoughts gets bottled up and makes my mind fuzzy. I am unable to think straight. As a result, I fall prey to anger and irritation, making me short- tempered.
It is as if I am constantly trying to have a battle with this weird habit of mine but to no avail. Gradually, I have realized that self- talking has helped me retain my positivity and focus. For instance, I have a responsibility to fulfill which is not necessarily to my preference. Initially, I would be hesitating a lot whether I should go about with the job or not. The strange part was even if someone tries to advice me in saying that you should do it, it’s your duty blah blah, my nervousness kicks in.
Moreover, the typical reassuring words like- “be strong”, “good luck” doesn’t necessarily help me at all. It actually does more harm than a blessing. Therefore, at moments like these, I talk aloud narrating my thoughts, that what should I actually do in this situation. Should I move ahead with the job or should I stay back? I self reflect upon my abilities and weaknesses that I should have done in this way and not the other way. This helped me boost my confidence level.
Again, after meeting a person, I come home, talking to myself about my first impression of meeting him/her. It really helps me contemplate that whether the person was good enough for me to interact or have a future interaction later.
This is not a magic crystal ball that would bring miracles but just a mere self-confidence therapy that really helps me in my daily struggles.
Just hoping that, people with this habit would feel reassured and not feel inferior. We all have our own inner addictions that we can’t really avoid but we should instead try to use that habit to our own advantage. Self- talking or talking to yourself is very normal and not a disease to be afraid of.
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